the reason behind it

The reason behind parenting is more than just conceiving a child, giving birth and then making sure that they don't get run over by a car or eaten by a lion. Even though it is providing for your children's physical, mental and social well being but also showing love to your kids and being able to discipline them as well. Another huge aspect of being parents is that it is like a trial run for later. How we reach godhood is being parents now and bringing your children unto Christ. Parenting isn't just for your kid's to obey you, but to obey God.

There are so many different ways to parent, depending on the environment you live in, the type of child you have and what fits you. But there are somethings that go for anyone, or any child.
When the Child is...power over self and environment
Mistaken Approach: rebellion or controlling other
Because of this the parent's feel angry and powerless. But because of this the child increases in negative behavior and approach.
But what the child needs is some power. They need responsibility that are age appropriate but they also need consequences.
When the Child is...being touchy, and too much contact
Mistaken Approach: undue attention seeking.
And because of this the parent's feel annoyed and irritated. There is a lot of extra time and attention and it can get very annoying for a busy parent.
What the child needs is attention. So giving attention and freely. Sit down and talk them, play game and the whole time give them physical contact.

One For the Money

Finances can be the greatest strain on a couple and a family, and is the leading cause of divorce. And even in my own life, this makes perfect sense. So when I have my own family I don't want it to be a huge stress and sore in our lives.

A very good resource to learn how to make your dollar stretch is to follow the advice in handbook, One for the Money by Elder Marvin J Ashton. There are 12 different steps but I just want to highlight three of them.

Manage your Money
- determined on how much you earn, but also how much you spend.
- your budget needs to be made between husband and wife, and also the Lord.
- it may sound a little dumb to say this, but don't buy stuff you can't afford
Teach Children Importance of Earning
- teach your children to work
- but also to teach them to save, have them earn their summer camp or their school clothes
- you children need to know that when their money runs out, so does their fun
Pay an Honest Tithe
- give first to the Lord and he will give to you
- teaches honesty to your children and your devotion to God

Jeg elsker dig - Is breá liom tú

For who that don't speak Danish or Irish you might be confused by my title. For all those non-linguist readers I am saying I love you. See know you are all feeling tingly inside that someone just told you that they love you. But it doesn't do a lot of good when you don't understand the meaning.

Language is one of the basic forms of communications around the world, and if you are in a relationship with some one and we don't understand their language we are screwed. And not they are speaking Irish or Danish but everyone has their own way of conversation. Words take on a different meaning, gestures may mean something to me then it does to my neighbor and yelling is just how some people speak while to others it is highly offensive.

This is why it is extremely important to understand each others language. When we seek to understand another person's language it shows them that you love and care for them.

But it is not just words that mean everything, it is all parts of speech that we need to seek to understand. Your words are less than half of what you are saying. This may seem weird but think about it. If someone tells you that they are excited to go on the trip but are saying it super mono-toned voice, you question what they are saying.
Tone = 35%
Non-verbal = 51%
Words = 14%

Ways that we can seek to understand one another are:
- paraphrase but what you heard
- ask questions
- accept it as it is offered (clarify later)
- reflect meaning (or check reasons)
- trial and error
- be intential (don't hide)
- take responsibility

evil is ALWAYS stupid

When something bad happens to us we seem to start analyzing it. Trying to find the reason behind that person abused the child, or why that drunk driver hit your car and the list goes on and on. And we still are analyzing it to figure out why they would do that, but what we realize is that evil is ALWAYS stupid!

When on is abused, it is how they think about the abuse that begins to tear them apart. But after realizing that what happened to them was evil and that they couldn't do anything to control that, and that in the end it doesn't make since. We shouldn't try to figure it out.

During a crisis we need to begin to look at what we can learn from it all and keep an eternal perspective. Heavenly Father would never test a second more than we could handle and wants us to learn something from what is happening to us. But in the end what we all need is a map of our life and saying, "Hey, you are right here, so just turn right then hang a left and then you are golden!" But since we don't have that we need to realize that God does have it and we need to trust him and know that we wouldn't get us lost.

check it out!

hey everyone! check out my sister's recipe blog...it's pretty legit!!

http://thefarmgirlrecipes.blogspot.com/

starting too soon

Sex in a relationship (one connected through marriage preferably) is what literally makes a family and is the glue that keeps a family together. But when you have premarital sex it is like super gluing your fingers together. It never quite fits and when you pull apart it physically hurts. And once you become intimate, it makes easier to jump to that step the next time, and harder to go without.

Along with sex, and the spiritual and nature of it, it is important that I teach my children the right things about it. So here are some rules that I am going to follow about teaching my kids about the birds and the bees.



AGES 0-4
- Teach them the correct name for body parts
- Talk to them about abuse, teaching them that in any case someone touches them they come to Mommy or Daddy.







AGES 5-10
- Make sure they know a little more about child abuse and about pornography. So they know that if they are given porn that they do not look at it.
- Begin to tell them about what sex is and the importance of it, so they know why.
- Start telling them about drugs and what to do if they are offered any.
- Teach them how to say no to porn and sex.



AGES 12-18
- Take everything that I have taught them in the first two stages and go into more depth. I want to make sure that they know why you shouldn't have sex before marriage, why porn is damaging and the affects of drugs.
- I also want them to know that they can trust me and their father in any situation.

So all you parents, let me know what you think and what you have seen work with your kids.

McIntyre Team Roster

For our midterm we had to create our own Family System, an analogy of how our family operates and works together. I chose a football team, if you know my family at all, you will understand how well this fits!

Here is the picture I created for it, each player is a family member.