Jeg elsker dig - Is breá liom tú

For who that don't speak Danish or Irish you might be confused by my title. For all those non-linguist readers I am saying I love you. See know you are all feeling tingly inside that someone just told you that they love you. But it doesn't do a lot of good when you don't understand the meaning.

Language is one of the basic forms of communications around the world, and if you are in a relationship with some one and we don't understand their language we are screwed. And not they are speaking Irish or Danish but everyone has their own way of conversation. Words take on a different meaning, gestures may mean something to me then it does to my neighbor and yelling is just how some people speak while to others it is highly offensive.

This is why it is extremely important to understand each others language. When we seek to understand another person's language it shows them that you love and care for them.

But it is not just words that mean everything, it is all parts of speech that we need to seek to understand. Your words are less than half of what you are saying. This may seem weird but think about it. If someone tells you that they are excited to go on the trip but are saying it super mono-toned voice, you question what they are saying.
Tone = 35%
Non-verbal = 51%
Words = 14%

Ways that we can seek to understand one another are:
- paraphrase but what you heard
- ask questions
- accept it as it is offered (clarify later)
- reflect meaning (or check reasons)
- trial and error
- be intential (don't hide)
- take responsibility

evil is ALWAYS stupid

When something bad happens to us we seem to start analyzing it. Trying to find the reason behind that person abused the child, or why that drunk driver hit your car and the list goes on and on. And we still are analyzing it to figure out why they would do that, but what we realize is that evil is ALWAYS stupid!

When on is abused, it is how they think about the abuse that begins to tear them apart. But after realizing that what happened to them was evil and that they couldn't do anything to control that, and that in the end it doesn't make since. We shouldn't try to figure it out.

During a crisis we need to begin to look at what we can learn from it all and keep an eternal perspective. Heavenly Father would never test a second more than we could handle and wants us to learn something from what is happening to us. But in the end what we all need is a map of our life and saying, "Hey, you are right here, so just turn right then hang a left and then you are golden!" But since we don't have that we need to realize that God does have it and we need to trust him and know that we wouldn't get us lost.

check it out!

hey everyone! check out my sister's recipe blog...it's pretty legit!!

http://thefarmgirlrecipes.blogspot.com/

starting too soon

Sex in a relationship (one connected through marriage preferably) is what literally makes a family and is the glue that keeps a family together. But when you have premarital sex it is like super gluing your fingers together. It never quite fits and when you pull apart it physically hurts. And once you become intimate, it makes easier to jump to that step the next time, and harder to go without.

Along with sex, and the spiritual and nature of it, it is important that I teach my children the right things about it. So here are some rules that I am going to follow about teaching my kids about the birds and the bees.



AGES 0-4
- Teach them the correct name for body parts
- Talk to them about abuse, teaching them that in any case someone touches them they come to Mommy or Daddy.







AGES 5-10
- Make sure they know a little more about child abuse and about pornography. So they know that if they are given porn that they do not look at it.
- Begin to tell them about what sex is and the importance of it, so they know why.
- Start telling them about drugs and what to do if they are offered any.
- Teach them how to say no to porn and sex.



AGES 12-18
- Take everything that I have taught them in the first two stages and go into more depth. I want to make sure that they know why you shouldn't have sex before marriage, why porn is damaging and the affects of drugs.
- I also want them to know that they can trust me and their father in any situation.

So all you parents, let me know what you think and what you have seen work with your kids.

McIntyre Team Roster

For our midterm we had to create our own Family System, an analogy of how our family operates and works together. I chose a football team, if you know my family at all, you will understand how well this fits!

Here is the picture I created for it, each player is a family member.

learning to select a mate

My mother is going to be excited that I was learning about this topic; Dating and Courtship!

When we begin to date that are three different models that people tend to follow:
1) hang out, make out, drop out: this is when we have an initial attraction to a person, but we begin to have non-committal physical interaction and after that happens there is no further contact. Here at BYU-Idaho we like to call this a NCMO, a non-committal make-out. Speaking from experience I think this is the most dangerous. It happens mostly when people are feeling insecure and look for attention in the easiest route possible.
2) date 'em till you hate 'em: this is when you get over committed from the beginning and you are exclusive until you can't stand them any longer. You start dating before you know how old they are or when their birthday is. And from what I know these are the bonds that so easy to break, you begin to date so quickly that you are not able to set up a foundation.
3) dating & courtship: now this is the best one! You take the time to get to know each other, you go on dates, not just hanging out, and you then you become exclusive.

Now when I speak about dating maybe I should define that for some people. Dating should follow The Family: A Proclamation to the World. It states, "Fathers should preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families." And with dating it should follow the same lines.
1) PLANNED AHEAD:
Have an idea of the plans for the night, this show he can preside. He can stand up and take action when needed not just when he is pressured.
2) PAIRED OFF:
This shows that he can be attendant to you, not the herd. But this brings in the idea of protections stated in the Family Proclamation. He makes sure that anything negative will happen, and is protecting you from others and outside forces.
3) PAID FOR:
This is him showing you that he can take responsibility for you, just like he will be if you get married. It also is a foreshadowing of what your financial situation will be if you get married. It sets a pattern.

The Family: A Proclamation to the World

innocent desires

I remember when I was first grade and the new boy in class sat right next to me. I got so excited and then nervous! My first crush. When I was that young I really didn't act out on those innocent desires. We would chase each other on the playground and I even was invited to his 6th birthday. When we have those innocent desires most of the time nothing is done about it, and it is the same for people with tendencies to being homosexual.

When they have those innocent desires like day dreaming, nervousness or increased heart beat. It is when they begin to act on those desires that it is a problem. One wonderful thing that I learned in these lessons about homosexuality is that usually these people are just simply misunderstood and when they find acceptance with people that aren't straight, then they themselves believe they are gay. And instead of fighting those tendencies they believe the names they are being called.

What I truly learned from my class this week is to be a lot more kind and understanding to young people who are struggling. They really just wanting to belong.